In Review, God Is Still Good

Last night we gathered with our home group to do a little after-Christmas celebration. Since it is now closer to New Years than Christmas, we each shared the things we've gone through this past year and what we've learned. It was amazing to recount our stories with each other and how we all seemed to come to the same conclusion - God is Good.

As I listened to my friends share their stories I was reviewing my own in my mind, preparing for my own time to share. It truly is amazing to think back over this past year and see how the Lord was not only with me during each trial and difficult time but also that he is an amazing orchestrator in how he brings those things together with his plan for my life and makes the ugly and hard things into something beautiful.

The first major difficulty of this year really began in the fall of 2008, when Ryan began to have some nasty sleep issues. The problem got worse as he began to take Ambien to help him sleep. As it did help him sleep it also gave him really bad side effects and he began to get severe anxiety to the point of paranoia and panic attacks, among other frightening physical side effects. Even in the midst of all this, when I prayed all I could pray and was at the end of myself in anything I could do to help my husband, the Lord was still with us. When at that scary point of complete dependance upon the Lord, He was there. He knew what was going on even when I didn't, and carried me through.

Somehow, through the Lord's guidance, Ryan did research on Ambien and found that he had become dependent on it, to the point of addiction (even though his doctor disagrees with him to this day). After doing research and much prayer, Ryan found a way to step down off the drug. Even during this time I was still in awe of how even though I was unaware of what is going on and was helpless to do anything about it, the Lord is still with us and guiding me though each day. I have learned, once again, to trust Him with my life and the lives of those I love.

The other major battle I've been through, again, didn't start with 2009. It began back when we moved here three years ago. Since moving into the rental house, I had a mindset of it being temporary, that we'd soon buy a house and move out. What should have been only one year turned into to three plus. Buying a house always seemed to be six months out, just out of reach. Many times I've had to learn to be content with where the Lord had us, and for that three years and three months it was in the rental house.

Again, I am amazed at how the Lord times things to perfection. I could never, in my own way of thinking and planning, ever come to the beautiful end to this story. I continue to learn that my ways are not His ways, and his way is much better than mine could ever be!

This home-owning journey has certainly been a roller coaster for me. One day I am depressed about it because I'm not where I want be. Then the next I'm giving it up and trusting the Lord for his timing and provision. Up and down, I tell ya! Then!, then!.....we finally get to the point of 'yes! we can buy!'. Then the emotional journey of letting go truly begins. How hard it is to see a house and get attached, and all before the offer is submitted. Only to get into a battle of offers with the bank and then to get passed over because, although our offer was 20k OVER asking, it wasn't high enough. In the end, we put offers on a total of four houses. Talk about letting go and trusting God!!!

I could go into more detail on both of these journeys of faith, but in the end the conclusion is the same - God can be trusted in all areas of my life, and He is good no matter the situation. As I look forward to yet another new year, I have no idea what is ahead but I take with me what I've learned and know that each day is an opportunity to trust Him, yet again.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,

and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the LORD, you his saints,

for those who fear him lack nothing.

Psalm 34: 7-9

She Can't Be Trusted

The good thing about having the kids in school is that I can do some shopping without them around. It comes in really handy when getting Christmas or birthday gifts. And in our family we have both, due to Caleb's birthday being two days before Christmas.

This year we let Caleb have a birthday party, so I was super-focused on getting that together and forgot about getting him a gift until just the other day. Good thing I had a few days before we leave town to get him something! Ryan and I talked over a few ideas then I hit Costco to see what they had. Isabel was not in school at the time, so she joined me and I didn't think much of it until I picked up what would be Caleb's gift - a Bakugan set. I knelt down and talked to Isabel about this being Caleb's birthday present and that it was a secret. She assured me that she would keep the secret, though I had my doubts (but what else could I do as she knew what the gift was and understood it was for Caleb??).

Before picking up the MaeLeb, I swung home and stashed Caleb's gift away, then headed for school. After getting the kids, we weren't even in the truck but a few minutes when Isabel says "Caleb, you got Bakugan for your birthday!".

The rat! Little stinker!

Fortunately some things are difficult to understand when Isabel talks. It's not always clear what she is trying to say. In this case I stepped in and tried to save the moment. I said something like "yeah, Caleb got Bakugans at his party!". But Mae knew what Isabel was saying and tried to correct me, but I cut her off before she could spill it all. Caleb, I think, didn't pick up on what was going on. At least that is my hope.

But I think we need to work on our secret-keeping skills. Or go shopping after bedtime.

At Least I Can Stop Working On My Acceptance Speach

Yeah. So the story is that I won't be nominated for Mother Of the Year. And I was sooo close too.

The kids new school has one day a week that has an early release time. It lets out one hour earlier than normal. Thursday (today!) is that day. And me, being the front runner for Mother of the Year, forgot.

I have my new schedule down. I leave the house at 2:15 in order to get to the school in time to to score a good parking spot. But when I pulled into the should-have-been-full parking lot, it wasn't. In fact there were prime spots just sitting vacant. I began to think 'wow, this is weird. It's almost like school has already been released or something, but I'm a few minutes early. Everyone else must be running late (you know, 'those' moms who are not in contention). Yeah, that's me, a little slow in the comprehension of the situation. But then it hit me - 'School already IS out because today is the EARLY day!'.

After briskly walking by Mae and Caleb's classrooms and the playground, I headed to the office. That's where they were, waiting for me. I had told them a few weeks ago that if I was ever not there to pick them up that they should wait for me in the school office. Poor Caleb was crying as we walked to the truck. I don't blame him, I probably would have too. And Mae was quick to forgive her forgetful mother. I wonder if she'll nominate me for an Honorable Mention?

I Just Love It

One of our favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance. It typically runs over the summer, but we have the treat to watch a rare season this fall. There are all kinds of dance displayed on the show. There's contemporary, ballroom, latin, jazz, and surprisingly, my favorite....hip hop. I don't know why it is, it just is.

The show airs twice a week and on the second night they usually have guest performers. The performers range from singers to different types of dancers/dance groups. Well, last week they featured a new dance company called The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. And you guessed it, they are hip hop. But they are Ah. May. Zing. (and, yes, extraordinary!) Well, see for yourself....

I love how they move, their use of 'tricks', the use of strength with such fluidity, and how silent they seem to move. And....and....and.....*sigh* I just love it. It doesn't hurt that they were dancing to Coldplay either. Anyway, I hear that the group won't officially begin until next year, which is really only weeks away, but whenever they do start doing shows and touring, I hope they will perform in our area 'cause I'd love to go see them!

Old Age Comes Early

Today I heard that Modesto got snow! I'm not too surprised to hear it, although Modesto rarely sees snow. I was thinking this morning "It's snowed there before. I remember when I lived there when it snowed". It was a very exciting day! The snow didn't stick, but it was still fun to see it falling.

It was also quite a long time ago......

The winter of 1989 I was a freshman in high school and it snowed one afternoon during Christmas break. Wow...I was a freshman and it was 1989......that means it was *gasp!* 20 years ago!!! Holey mach-ah-moley.....20 years??!?!!

I'm starting to feel old.

They Do Exist!!!

Lo and behold.....look what I found at Old Navy!!!



Flip flops in winter!

Too bad they didn't have them in Caleb's size.

New Number

Dear ABC Plumbing,

I am at a loss as to why you are no longer in business. The calls that I am receiving on your behalf should have been enough to keep you afloat (no pun intended). Shall I give incoming calls a forwarding number???

Sincerely,

A Homeowner with a new number that happens to be your old one