Redefined

grandmother

[gran-muh-ther]

noun

1. The reason why children survive during the absence of their father.

2. A life extender.

3. Good listener and player of games.

4. A witness, holding the mother accountable (see number 2 in connection with number 1).

5. A companion for pedicures and trips to Ikea.

6. Sorely missed by all when plane returns from whence it came.