Buy me!

House for sale!
I am a lonely Midwest house for sale!

My owners have left me.
Abandoned me for the west coast.
To the sunny west coast they left me.
Left me to sit in emptiness.
Empty, lonely, waiting for someone new.
Someone new to claim me.
Claim me from this empty state of being.

I'm in great shape,
just look at my bathroom!
I had a little accident,
got a little wet,
but now I'm all new!

There is one little thing that you can do.
You can buy me!
Buy me, won't you?